Photo by laszlo-photo
Ever have one of those days where everything you touch seems to break? I had one of those last week. In a period of 24 hours, my
- dishwasher broke
- car battery died (we only have one car)
- air conditioner broke (it’s currently 94F, but feels like 102F with Kansas humidity)
- dryer stopped drying clothes
And the icing on the cake: the local Internet was spotty (at best).
What this meant was on top of a borked dryer and dishwasher, I wasn’t able to leave (broke car) my sweltering house (broke AC) to get some work done. It wasn’t pretty. Apparently I had gotten on Murphy’s bad side.
It’s these unexpected hang-ups that can really push us over the edge. It took everything in me to not curl up in a fetal position and start sucking my thumb. Yet, there is a silver lining to every cloud. Through this awesome awful experience I learned some techniques for when disaster strikes.
1. Calmly assess the situation
So often we get that paralyzing feeling that the world is going to end when something unexpected happens. If you’re going to make it through to see tomorrow, you’ve got to force down that lump in your throat, take command of your nerves and calmly figure out a plan to finish the day. Our panic often leads us to believe that the situation is far worse than it really is. In reality, we’re usually not as bad off as we think we are.
If we’re not careful, our panic can keep us from what we’re doing even more than any unexpected event can.
2. Focus on what you DO have
Remember: It could always be worse. Instead of dwelling on what you don’t have or can’t do, look around and assess what you do have.
For me, I was able to feel some relief when I took stock of what I had going for me. I still had my health, a roof over my head, a job, a supportive family and awesome friends. A dose of perspective adds relief to any tense situation.
Photo by timmycorkery
3. Figure out what’s most important
Now that we’re thinking a little clearer, take a moment to figure out what absolutely has to be done. We’re talking the bare essentials for today. These are the things that if not done will:
- get you fired or
- make you lose a lot of money or
- put your health at risk or
- put your family’s health at risk or
- keep you from having a roof over your head.
These are the bare essentials. Some days you just have to accept that because of an unexpected event, you’re only going to get a few things done. Sure, there will be plenty of things that will make you “behind” on your work. But those aren’t essentials. Take care of the essentials first, and whatever you’re able to do on top of that is a bonus on a busted day.
This seems like common sense, but in reality it’s a concept that many people struggle with (myself included). It’s easy to let panic warp our perspective, making things more important than they really are. This is why it’s so important to take a deep breath and analytically assess what has to be done for you and your family to survive.
Tomorrow’s another day.
4. Don’t be afraid to say “sorry”
When you’re only able to accomplish a fraction of what you were planning on doing throughout the day, it means that things are going to be pushed back. That means you might fall a day behind on client work. Or you might have to cancel plans with friends. You can’t feel bad about it though. If they’re really your friend, they’ll understand. If they’re a decent client, then they’ll understand as well. Just be open and honest about it, and more than likely they’ll be sympathetic.
5. Never underestimate the kindness of friends
When the air conditioner broke and the car wouldn’t start, I realized I wouldn’t be very productive (or dry) unless I left the house to work. So, I called my friend Travis and he managed to snag me a ride from another friend Laura to a cooler working environment. What amazed me is how both friends were willing to drop what they were doing and sacrifice their time to help me. No questions asked.
There’s no greater feeling when friends go out of their way to lend a hand when you’re down on your luck. But I know part of it is good karma. I’ve helped many a friend change a tire, given rides here and there, helped people move, and other miscellaneous stuff.
It’s not a matter of keeping tabs, its a matter of being a good person. If you’re helpful and gracious with your time with your friends and family, they’ll go out of their way to help when bad things happen to you.
6. When all else fails, take the day off
Photo by hans.gerwitz
Sometimes the best thing to do when calamity strikes is to take the day off. This might be a last resort, but don’t underestimate the power of relaxation. Sure, you might get really behind losing the entire day, but if you can’t work effectively, you probably weren’t going to get much done anyway. Just toss in the towel and call it a day.
Some days, you just have to give up control and accept that it’s a worthless day.
A busted day doesn’t have to be a total waste. Why not try to squeeze some relaxation out of it? Spend it by the pool, watch a movie, or do “that thing” you’ve been putting off for ages. Instead of sitting around stewing over what you can’t do, kick back and enjoy the rest of the day.
It’s all about perspective
The thing to remember through this whole process is that our anxiety warps our perspective. If we can keep our perspective in check, we keep our sanity in check. There are always going to be terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days.
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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
I write a lot about this topic (failure, especially first-time failure), and I've got to say you've nailed this, Glen. I think the most important issue you address is taking it easy on yourself, and realizing that a lot of times, you can't do everything you want to do. Your circumstances can be overcome, but they can't necessarily be overcome instantly. Focusing on the absolute most important things allows you to weed out the “nice-to-do” stuff in favor of the “best-to-do”. Thanks for the great guide!
Well done. Sometime we get too wrapped up on how bad we perceive it to be. When we work around the challenges, we win. Thanks for a great post.
“I think the most important issue you address is taking it easy on yourself, and realizing that a lot of times, you can't do everything you want to do.”
Well said, Jason!
wonderfull i enjoy it
Great post! Enjoyed it!
Hey Glen, you touched on a very real truth here. Sometimes we try to get everything straight, but things just blow to pieces. When that happens beyond repair, sometimes I just do #6 – take the day off. Or at least, take a few hours off. It helps to put things into perspective when I get back. This is a great post!
Thanks Celes! Actually, #6 is my favorite ;) At least putting things off for
a few hours is a great way to mellow a bit before getting back on the horse.
WOW.
This reminds me of a not-so-funny, funny story. In my interview for my current job, the supervisor created a “pretend' scenerio in which multiple deadlines were fast approaching, all involving the printer, and it breaks down while the phones are being services, etc etc. A complete never-gone-happen bogus story to determine my problem solving techniques…..it happened. I had four deadlines in one day, all requiring massive print jobs and the large printer failed while the phones were down…it was just awful. AND, I couldn't seem to find a flash drive anywhere to just take the files to Kinkos… :( Great advice!
You should have really just taken the day off :)
Totally! It's just like how we need to let our muscles rest, relax and repair itself before we try to take on another bout of exercise. Else it's just going to tear and things will get ugly.
By “living in our head” I mean that our experience of the world – that is, how we see various situations, circumstances and events, how we allow those things to affect us, what they mean to us and how we react to it all – is individual, unique and self-determined. Which is why we can see two people going through what appears to be the same experience at the same time (some might erroneously say, the same reality) – a very similar court case for example – yet they are both impacted in totally different ways. One learns a valuable life-lesson, grows emotionally, becomes more aware, compassionate and enlightened, while the other suffers from extreme physical, emotional and psychological stress – all self-created by the way (situations don’t create stress, people do) – loses confidence, becomes angry and bitter and slides into a depressive state for a period of time. Why? Because the two individuals weren’t actually going through the same “experience” at all; they were each creating their own experience. One positive. One negative.
Some days are like that…”even in Australia”. And along the lines of “take the day off” I live by the rule that I can start a day over again at any time. Even if it means going back to bed and getting up again. :)
My favourite tip in this post was “relying on the kindness of friends” – for me, it's always the support of the people who are most loving in my life that makes the most difference.
Great post, Glen
Cath
Some days are like that…”even in Australia”. And along the lines of “take the day off” I live by the rule that I can start a day over again at any time. Even if it means going back to bed and getting up again. :)
My favourite tip in this post was “relying on the kindness of friends” – for me, it's always the support of the people who are most loving in my life that makes the most difference.
Great post, Glen
Cath
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