Self-Help Junkies Need Help
- Posted by glen on April 5th, 2007
Steve Pavlina has an interesting post on Self-Help Junkies. Basically, they’re people who spend all of their resources learning how to get better, and not actually doing anything to improve their life.
Much like drug addicts, self-help junkies feed their addiction by digesting more and more feel-good material. They get sucked into the emotional high that comes from reading enthusiastic drivel, but those unresolved feelings of emptiness and self-doubt always return in the end. For a brief time these devotees may maintain the illusion of action, such as by doing introspective exercises, taking quizzes, making journal entries, and reciting daily affirmations. But when they’re just about to begin the real action phase  the kind that produces measurable results  somehow they always get sidetracked, and the end result is nothing but a rah-rah fizzle.
I’ll be the first to admit that it’s easy to start wandering down this dark and lonely road. Too many times people get caught up in finding the latest “thing” to help lose weight/write better/save money/whatever, as opposed to actually using it and sticking with it.
Steve points us to some actual, measurable goals that we can actually use all of those new technologies and ideas we write about on LifeDev. His growth goals are measured into 7 different categories:
- Physical
- Mental
- Financial
- Social
- Career and Business
- Spiritual
- Personal Effectiveness
These are great ideas for anyone wanting to improve an aspect of their life. I’m personally trying to become a better manager of money. Anybody else working in one of these aspects of their lives? What goals are you working on?
April 5th, 2007 at 3:25 pm
[...] <b>Self-Help</b> Junkies Need Help [...]
April 5th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Great conversation follow up Glen. Not trying to plug myself, but I’m currently running an experiment that may answer your question. The Gotta Get Goals meme is over 50 people now. You can start with my site if you like, and trace it to the people I’ve tagged. I’m personally working on goals in all the categories, but they have a different priority to me.
April 6th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
I am working on 1 goal out each of the seven that you listed. Its step by step.
Thanks!
Amanda
http://thetimemastery.com
April 6th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
I have been facilitating Personal Development courses since 1981 and agree that the majority of the people who seek self-improvement are exactly what Steve describes in his post.
I have learned that there is a big difference between “feeling better” and “getting better” - with the former being much easier than the latter. The junkies out there just want to FEEL better and are unwilling to do the action part (which is the hard work) to GET better. So reading a self-help book or attending a seminar can definitely help them feel better. However it won’t help them change much at all.
There are many reasons why people fail to act. Besides motivation, people need what I call “the 3 pillars of change” - Vision , Structure & Support. If you are interested, you can read a couple of my posts on this subject: Change or Die & Structure - One of the 3 Pillars of Change.
April 7th, 2007 at 7:48 am
For me right now, Physical stands out. I’ve actually worked on some spiritual/mental goals over the last few years, and now it’s time for me to get healthy. Looking to get back to my pre-kid fitness level!
April 10th, 2007 at 6:33 pm
[...] Self-Help Junkies Need Help - [...]
April 18th, 2007 at 2:03 am
[...] In fact, Leo believes that not trying new task and project tools is key to keeping it simple. A straight pen and paper works best for the ZTD system. While this is mostly true, it’s a little over-simplified. In some cases it just doesn’t make sense to use a paper-based system (like web development). However, he’s spot on: the tool isn’t going to make you any more organized. [...]
June 20th, 2007 at 7:24 pm
Hello! Good Site! Thanks you! slpxntmnau